Here is a friendly reminder from your favorite proctologist, Dr. Butt: don't stick items too deep up in poop chute. Humans and their assholes are sort of like dogs and their balls. The only difference being: It would feel awesome to lick your own balls, dumping concrete mix into your cornhole, not so much. You will not believe some of the items that people have had to have removed from their rectum. Anyway, here are 25 x-rays posted from random doctors across the web of random items stuck in people's butt. We must warn that once you see these images you cant unsee them. #18 and #25 will absolutely shock you!
1. A Beer Bottle
We are ashamed to admit that we know what brand beer this is based on the shape of the bottle and now we can never buy it again.
2. A Cellular Phone
The butt dial to end all butt dials.
3. A Gun
In some states its legal to carry a concealed weapon. They never specify how you have to conceal it.
4. A Body Spray Canister
Do you think he was trying to make his farts less stinky?
5. A House Key
The key to his heart is really in his butt.
6. A Flashlight
Was this guy trying to be a firefly for Halloween or something?
7. A Peanut Butter Jar
All it needs now is some jelly.
8. A Tiny Toy Car
He took park it in the rear too literally. Vroom vroom.
9. A Billiard Ball
Looks like the cue ball.
10. A Pint Glass
Thats one way to do your dishes, I guess. How many of those did he drink before he was like, Ive got an idea.
11. Spray Paint
Whatever color that spray paint was, its brown now.
12. A Live Shell
We also like to live dangerously.
13. Bottle In a Fake Hip
Thats not how you drink that.
14. Bottle With Retrieval Wire
Ah, the best-laid plans of ass and men. Never leave a fallen soldier behind, I guess.
15. A Lightbulb
Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.
16. A Knife
I bet that
cuts like a knife.
17. A Coffee Mate Creamer Lid
Just the lid, though. Cant taint the creamer.
18. A Dildo
This was expected.
19. Another Dildo
So much variety!
20. A Dildo & Thongs
Toss that salad, I guess.
21. A Shampoo Bottle
How else am I gonna cure my chronic butt dandruff?
22. A Buzz Lightyear Action Figure.
To infinity and Beyond.
23. Instant Coffee Jar
Instant pain: This patient had self-inserted a jar of 'a well-known brand of instant coffee' with a number of pins stuck in the rubber inside of the lid.
24. A 50cm Long Eeel
Did this person actually eat an Eeel?
25. A Cement Enema
We saved the weirdest story for last. During a kinky sex session, two homosexual men decided to try something new. One man lay down and let the other man pour liquid cement into his anus using a funnel. Yes, really.
Naturally, the cement didn't stay liquid for long, and when it hardened it became a huge mass of cement that had to be surgically removed.
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