Crazy Russian Man Escapes From Hospital Right After Surgery To Buy Beer

Charlie Blacks II February 17th 2016 Other
Russia you’ve done it again… It seems like we can’t go a week without having to write about something bizarre that has happened within the country. As of late, there has been a lot of alcohol related stories from criminals tunneling for vodka to near death experiences while drinking. Russia we were joking before but seriously you may be the most alcoholic of all of the world’s countries. Unfortunately, we have another story surrounding mother Russia and a man just wanting an ice cold beer after a grueling surgery. We’re pretty sure beer isn’t the best post-op beverage due to the effects alcohol has on the bloodstream but can you blame the guy? Well, this unnamed patient took things into his own hands on February 13th, in the Russian city of Khakassia, about 2,700 miles east of Moscow.
As you can see here, here is a man standing in nothing but hospital bed sheets with multiple bandages and tubes hanging from his freshly stitched up body. What led him to this particular situation you might ask? Well, after asking nurses in the intensive care unit for his favorite beer and being denied multiple times, this patient snuck out of the hospital he was in Kill Bill style… Ok, maybe not Kill Bill style, because Uma Thurman did crush a hospital attendant’s head in a doorway, but he definitely was able to get past hospital security without being noticed and exited the premises without anyone bothering to ask who the naked guy was wrapped in bed sheets leaving the parking lot. Utterly amazing. Ooh, we almost left out an important detail, while the patient was making his journey to a nearby liquor store, it was -16 degrees Celsius, or about 3 degrees Fahrenheit in the Russian town and he was dressed in a hospital made toga without any shoes at that. Anyways, as the man arrived to the store demanding beer, the staff noticed his bandages and bloody bed sheets, refused him service, and called the authorities. Police arrived on the scene and the man peacefully went back to the hospital where he was to continue his healing process.

Now, the hospital is reviewing surveillance footage in order to find out how the man escaped the building without being seen. We think the hospital staff should be to blame for this beer guzzling zombie being able to escape so easily. Seriously, how does a man in an intensive care unit just walk right out that section of the hospital without being noticed. That’s more like the ‘we could care less’ unit… ok, that wasn’t funny at all but if I had a family member in this particular hospital in Khakassia, I’d definitely get them transferred to a more attentive hospital. This is truly careless and reckless. And for the unnamed man thinking he was just going to be able to go get beer while dripping IV liquids and covered in bandages, you have a serious problem brother… The people of Russia seriously need help, we wonder what AA would be like in Russia… they probably serve drinks during their meetings. Anyways, Russia get it together.

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